I have handed my son over to surgeons knowing they would stop his heart, and prayed that it would beat again. I have learned more than I ever thought I could. I have cried more than I ever thought possible. I have celebrated victories and milestones that others never have to. I have walked a road I never knew existed. I will walk this road forever. I am a mommy to a CHD Angel ♥ iLy Kayden James

Friday, March 16, 2012

Better late than never..

I've been needing to blog for some time now. I've just been horribly tired the last few days..so I'll blame it on the time change thing! Well if you've been reading my blog and followed Kayden's story you know March 14 was his 8 month Angelversary & 1 year since he was admitted to CHB for his open heart surgery. If you're new to my blog...well now you know lol! I put 3 heart balloons at the cemetery on Wednesday for the 3 weeks he was in the hospital. Those were the 3 most stressful weeks of my life being away from my babies. Until June/July 2011. Now that was a piece of cake compared to my life now.When I wake up in the mornings I have no idea what the day holds for me, I don't know if it'll be a good day, or a crying day all day..or it could start good and end up a bad day...I just never know so I live second by second. 
A friend of mine got her job to donate a bunch of food to Mended Little Hearts for their food bags to take to UVa, so that was so awesome of them, huge thanks to United HealthCare for helping heart families in need ♥ 
That was always one thing I hated doing was leaving Kayden to go eat, so the food bags were a huge help, I could just have a snack. The only time I'd leave is if he was sleeping, because he was intubated and couldn't eat and it would break my heart when he'd reach for my food!! Or my drink so it all got hid!!
Today March 16, was the day before Kayden's open heart surgery last year. I'm changing my Facebook picture daily to a pic of Kayden 1 year prior! So today's picture is his big beautiful face the day before his surgery!! My little man was such a little fighter, he always always ALWAYS had a big huge smile on his face!! 
Tomorrow I will be making a heart shaped cake for Kayden's 1 year surgery anniversary & we will be releasing 1 heart balloon and 2 white balloons. The 2 white balloons represent his Angel wings & the heart obviously represents his big little heart, in other words it means, your heart has wings ♥
Kayden's strenght deserves to be remembered so I will continue to honor him! This year I'll be doing his toy drive again at UVa, I'll post more details about that probably in July or August!! This year Kayden's birthday will be on a Friday, so the toy donation will be done on December 20 again! 
The day before his open heart surgery at Children's Hospital Boston
Kayden's heart balloons!

On another note, I'm happy to say I've lost 4 lbs since January woo hoo go me!! I've been walking and doing workout videos and I'm watching my calories. I'm on week 2 of actually logging all my foods so I've done great the last 2 weeks!! I've still got awhile to go to get back to what I want. But I've settled with if I get down to 120 lbs I'll be good...BUT if I do that I might as well keep losing the last 5 and get to 115 my pre baby weight with all 4 kids..Do you think it's possible? I think so! I'm determined to get this done and know it'll be well worth it, just like smoking! April will be 2 years since I've been smoke free WOO! Go me! Thanks to Kayden and Isaiah really but it's good that I had the strength to not start again! Anyways I'm off to walk so I hope you guys have a wonderful day ♥ Do something to honor Kayden this weekend, he deserves it

1 comment:

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