I have handed my son over to surgeons knowing they would stop his heart, and prayed that it would beat again. I have learned more than I ever thought I could. I have cried more than I ever thought possible. I have celebrated victories and milestones that others never have to. I have walked a road I never knew existed. I will walk this road forever. I am a mommy to a CHD Angel ♥ iLy Kayden James

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

There's always sunshine after a storm ♥

That title is a little corny, right lol! Well, GREAT news. Tavion had his echo with Kayden's cardiologist on Monday & today Alexis & Isaiah went. They all have normal hearts! That is such a big relief, I was so worried. I wouldn't have stopped until I got them checked. Kayden's heart was always so different, and for that he'll always be special. I've tried explaining to people how unique he was but not many people quite understand that. Kayden had dilated cardiomyopathy & they though ebstein's anomaly at birth. His DCM wasn't like a normal case, his was on the right side. & it took 2 years well when he went to Boston to decide his ebstein's really was just a displaced tricuspid valve with severe regurgitation..His cardiologist still hasn't seen anything like Kayden's DCM & Kayden was diagnosed prenatally so it's been a little over 4 years. If I could go back and change anything about Kayden's medical care, it would be to do his transplant work up sooner so that way they could have just listed him and the transplant stuff would have been done, maybe he would have waited longer or got his new heart. I hate wondering, but I guess it's human nature to wonder and second guess. Back to the corny title, no matter how much I miss Kayden, the sun has started shining because the other kids hearts are good, we have a clean slate and hopefully it'll stay that way. I'll always know in the back of my head it's possible they could develop DCM later in life so I'll continue to watch them closely but for now I know they are fine ♥ I miss my baby boy more than anything and if I could have him back I'd be the happiest mom on Earth!

Tomorrow I start my refresher math course and my nursing classes start next month. I'm one excited mama, I've got a 250 word essay to write on why I want to become a nurse, which I think will be easy to write, if I could just get it started lol! I hate starting essays haha they always sound funny!! I just wish my inspiration was here to see me doing it! It's all for him!!

On another note, I'm hoping to get more members for our Mended Little Hearts group in Roanoke, so far I've only got a few people. We still need like 7 more to actually have a meeting and send in the paper work to get chartered!! AHH I wish things happened over night, but I know all about waiting so I guess that's what we continue to do ♥

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