Ever since I became a mom I have always wanted the best for my kids...as we all do. I became a mom to an Angel baby March 1, 2005 and two months later I got pregnant with Alexis, she made me a mommy to a beautiful little baby girl. Now that beautiful baby girl is a beautiful little girl and I'm mama lol no more mommy. In December of 2007 I became a mom again to a handsome baby boy, though he wasn't completely healthy, he was perfect to me. That is when my life took a drastic change. I never knew what I was made of until I took care of that child. I then became a mom again in May 2009 and December 2010!
My kids are my life and God knows I would do anything for them. I have people who are starting to get in the way of this which is really aggravating and frustrating me. I don't understand why people must push people back from doing what they can.
So here I am once again still trying to find my place in this world. I know I'm not where I want to be...Ever since I lost Kayden, I've wanted nothing but to help families and make his memorial fund a success but I've at the same time got to provide for the other kids so it seems like everything is just falling apart. I want to help these families that are going through so much of what I had to go through 3 short years ago...These next few months are so hard for me, they were Kayden's last months of life and after June and July it gets worse, because those months after I lost him...those months were living hell. I don't remember much from those months they were a blur. Finally I started getting out in the world again trying to put one foot in front of the other and trying to move forward with my kids and Kayden as an Angel. But now it seems people don't like seeing me doing okay so they have to see what they can do to make my life miserable and knock me down...So I'm at a standstill again, not sure which way to go. Because I am so tired of making wrong choices and choosing the wrong direction.....I just want to sit right where I'm at and stay don't move forward..if anything I want to go back.