I have handed my son over to surgeons knowing they would stop his heart, and prayed that it would beat again. I have learned more than I ever thought I could. I have cried more than I ever thought possible. I have celebrated victories and milestones that others never have to. I have walked a road I never knew existed. I will walk this road forever. I am a mommy to a CHD Angel ♥ iLy Kayden James

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Stressed beyond words....

I feel like I'm constantly walking around with tears in my eyes from being stressed & worried. I don't know how to do this. I worry about my kids when I'm not home & my mom has to work. I don't like the fact she'll have to take them out at 3:30am to get someone to watch them because we have no one who will be willing to come to our house that early. My mom is almost 60 years old. So yea i definitely will worry everyday about her & the kids. I wish she could take a family medical leave so she can have the kids when i'm at the hospital. It would be so much easier and less stressful. I'm trying to rack my brain for fundraising ideas. So I hope I can find someone to organize this. I'm worried Kayden won't get a heart. Everytime a doctor comes in they say how fragile he is...as if I didn't already know. One said 'I sure hope we get this baby a heart, he really needs one'. So God please help my son!! How can I make you hear me because sometimes I feel like you don't hear a word I say. I pray every single night for one more day with my baby & thanking God I have him. I feel so lost when all my kids aren't with me. I just want all them here! I  want to feel all their touch I want their kisses & I want to hear their voices everyday. And Kayden I haven't gotten to hear his voice in days because he is sedated & a breathing tube in. PLEASE God answer these prayers from everyone. I know you are hearing his name everyday and night <3

1 comment:

  1. Hang in there honey, im praying for you guys constantly