I have handed my son over to surgeons knowing they would stop his heart, and prayed that it would beat again. I have learned more than I ever thought I could. I have cried more than I ever thought possible. I have celebrated victories and milestones that others never have to. I have walked a road I never knew existed. I will walk this road forever. I am a mommy to a CHD Angel ♥ iLy Kayden James

Friday, June 3, 2011

You're My Strength When I am Weak

So much has happened in the past few days in the CHD community. Sadly some is heartbreaking. While one family was getting a gift of life, another was still fighting. A little baby went back to Heaven today to be with our Lord. He has been fighting a very tough battle for the past 2 months. I haven't been able to get him or his family off of my mind all day. I wish I could do something to help but I know I can do absolutely nothing. Just pray. That's all I've been doing lately. I pray every night that God let's me keep my baby boy & lets him live to be 100. I pray for all of our CHD warriors who are fighting to live. & I pray for the families of Angels to find the strength to get through each day. I can't imagine & hope I never have to know how it feels to lose a child. I just know from following these kids it breaks my heart when I hear bad news. I can't help but cry, because like I've said all along. You just don't understand this long long hard road unless you've been on it. It's hard to be a mom to a sick child. You can never lose faith. If you lose faith, then you're pretty much screwed.

Anyways, so here is what's up with Kayden. Since last week he gained a pound and some ounces WOO!! That's great because he was losing which was BAD. So I'm so glad he gained and is now back to 31 lbs. Hopefully he will maintain around this weight. We still haven't heard anything from UVA or Boston & it's killing me..the waiting. His cardiologist sent 4 echos & his last week office note to them both. He has been feeling ok for a few days. Today he was a little off but still tried to keep smiling as much as he could. He tries so hard to feel good, even when he feels bad. I can't get enough of him though. I always find myself touching his feet or hands or face. I always hug him & kiss him. I always tell him how much I love him, & our new thing is muscles haha we do the 'flexing' thing & say 'look my muscle' 'me strong' LOL. He is so adorable <3 I love that little boy if hurts <3. He gives me the strength to get through my days. When I don't want to get out of bed I know I have to because Kayden needs his meds in the morning. Kayden needs to eat a good breakfast so he can grow to be a big strong boy.

Please tonight say a prayer for all of my CHD family <3 The CHD warriors & Angels <3
Go check out my website I'm working on www.helpheallittlehearts.weebly.com

Here is a gorgeous picture I want to share. One of my friends took it & it's like the Angels are looking down at us. You can see 2 baby faces in it. One where the sun is shining through & the other at the blue towards the top.

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