People tell me 'Misty you're so strong'...No I'm not I really don't feel it anymore. This is so hard and it's breaking me I need help bad and I don't know where to get it from....
I have handed my son over to surgeons knowing they would stop his heart, and prayed that it would beat again. I have learned more than I ever thought I could. I have cried more than I ever thought possible. I have celebrated victories and milestones that others never have to. I have walked a road I never knew existed. I will walk this road forever. I am a mommy to a CHD Angel ♥ iLy Kayden James
Thursday, June 30, 2011
God just send me a sign that everything is going to be okay!! I'm not feeling it right now. Everything is depending on me! I can't do it, I've got enough with Kayden, and everyone comes to me for answers to everything else!! I CAN NOT DO IT!! I don't think anyone is understanding how I'm feeling through this. I'm breaking, seriously. I always thought that God doesn't give us more than we can handle. Well I'm overflowing! I have literally been crying for the past half hour and it just keeps coming. I can't stop...I don't know what to do anymore!! I have no answers of what to do with the other kids. I know I've got to see them every week, not just for them but for me also. I know my mom has to work so we still have a place to live. BUT NO ONE IS WILLING TO HELP WATCH THEM SO THIS CAN HAPPEN!! & If they are then they want freaking money. I'm sorry but in this situation why should you want our money when we don't have it to give. It's taking all we have to pay for gas, house payment, electric bill, water bill, etc. Cable & internet has done got cut off because it's not a necessity for the kids. GOD I JUST WANT KAYDEN TO BE OKAY AND HOME. THAT IS ALL I ASK PLEASE JUST SEND HIM A PRECIOUS NEW HEART!!
Posted by Misty at 7:42 PM