Strength.Courage.Hope: I just need a sign...

Thursday, June 30, 2011

I just need a sign...

God just send me a sign that everything is going to be okay!! I'm not feeling it right now. Everything is depending on me! I can't do it, I've got enough with Kayden, and everyone comes to me for answers to everything else!! I CAN NOT DO IT!! I don't think anyone is understanding how I'm feeling through this. I'm breaking, seriously. I always thought that God doesn't give us more than we can handle. Well I'm overflowing! I have literally been crying for the past half hour and it just keeps coming. I can't stop...I don't know what to do anymore!! I have no answers of what to do with the other kids. I know I've got to see them every week, not just for them but for me also. I know my mom has to work so we still have a place to live. BUT NO ONE IS WILLING TO HELP WATCH THEM SO THIS CAN HAPPEN!! & If they are then they want freaking money. I'm sorry but in this situation why should you want our money when we don't have it to give. It's taking all we have to pay for gas, house payment, electric bill, water bill, etc. Cable & internet has done got cut off because it's not a necessity for the kids. GOD I JUST WANT KAYDEN TO BE OKAY AND HOME. THAT IS ALL I ASK PLEASE JUST SEND HIM A PRECIOUS NEW HEART!!

People tell me 'Misty you're so strong'...No I'm not I really don't feel it anymore. This is so hard and it's breaking me I need help bad and I don't know where to get it from....

2 comments:

AnonymousJune 30, 2011 at 8:02 PM
Im hoping and praying Keydan's new heart comes soon xoxo I'm also hoping close friends or family can help you with the kids until Keydan gets home and realizes it's More than the money it's about a Village helping out!!! God forbid, what if their child was on life support??? You have enough to deal with, please God send some help to Misty who's staying strong b/c she has no choice But needs some people to help out xoxoxo
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AnonymousJune 30, 2011 at 8:56 PM
I'm Hoping & Praying For All Of You Every Single Day That Kayden Gets A New Heart ! I Think It's BullShit That No 1 Will Watch Your Other 3 Kids & Not Charge You ! I Love All Of You ! Love Always

Jaci & The Girls
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About Me

My name is Misty. I'm 26 years old from Roanoke, VA. I am a single mom to my little ones. I've got 5 kids. Alexis, Kayden, Tavion & Isaiah. Kayden is my little Angel, he went to live with the Angels July 14, 2011 waiting on a heart transplant, he was 3.5 years old. Alexis is my oldest she is almost 9, Tavion is 5, Isaiah is 4, and Elijah is 4 months. I enjoy reading, watching movies, blogging, quiet nights(when possible), and long drives listening to music. I started blogging to tell people about Kayden's journey with a broken heart, now it's about life with him as an Angel & how I deal and you'll also get to know my other little ones. You can also visit Kayden's page at www.kaydenjames.weebly.com or on facebook at www.facebook.com/KaydenJamesCHDAngel

My Family

Little Miss Lexi

Alexis is my first child & my only girl. She was born on February 9, 2006. I found out I was pregnant with Lexi 2 months after I had a miscarriage. I was quite surprised that I was pregnant but I was excited along with scared and nervous. She is the best big sister anyone could ask for. She helps with her brothers & she helps me if I need her to..She is a very smart little girl as well, right now she is in preschool. I can't believe my baby girl is almost in Kindergarten. It's true that time doesn't stop for nothing.

Superman

Kayden took his first breath on December 21, 2007 and took his last breath on July 14, 2011. Kayden was born with a bilateral cleft lip and palate, dilated cardiomyopathy & a displaced tricuspid valve with tricuspid regurgitation. He had 6 surgeries in his 3 1/2 years. He had 3 to complete his cleft lip/palate, pyloric stenosis at a month old, a preauricular cyst removed & open heart surgery on March 17, 2011. He always had a smile on his face no matter how many challenges were thrown his way. I miss my child more than anything in this world. I love Kayden more than words can ever say. I am broken and will never be repaired, he was my life & my heart is shattered since he lost his battle with his CHD. I'll never stop telling his story because people need to be aware of what is possible & I would like to think that Kayden's life will save another child.

Crazy Tavy

My middle boy, Tavion James. Tavion was born on May 13, 2009 at 37 weeks. He was my biggest yet shortest baby born lol! He is a handful right now he is at the age he wants to get into everything. Although he is small still he holds his ground and has an attitude. He is starting to get into the terrible twos which is never fun but we will survive. He's an amazing little boy and always keep us smiling. Tavion has no health problems that we've noticed and hopefully he continues to stay that way.

Superman's Baby

Isaiah James was welcomed into the world on December 16, 2010 at 3:02 a.m. He weighed 7 lbs 11 oz. & was 20 1/2 inches!! He had a head full of beautiful black hair (just like his sister did). Kayden absolutely loved him and called him his baby. He's so full of energy, loves his brothers and his sister.
My Rainbow

Elijah was born on August 22, 2014, he was 7 lbs 14.8 oz. He's an absolute blessing. Elijah is my rainbow baby, I was so unsure about having more kids after I lost Kayden, but now I see Kayden picked this little fella to send me. I couldn't imagine my life without him. His smile brightens up my darkest day.