I have handed my son over to surgeons knowing they would stop his heart, and prayed that it would beat again. I have learned more than I ever thought I could. I have cried more than I ever thought possible. I have celebrated victories and milestones that others never have to. I have walked a road I never knew existed. I will walk this road forever. I am a mommy to a CHD Angel ♥ iLy Kayden James

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Life is a roller coaster

It really is, so many twists & turns, and like a bumpy road there are plenty of bumps!! Some days I feel like my world is crashing down around me. I felt on edge the other day but I pulled myself together, which I'm proud of that it's hard for me to do that sometimes. Anyways, Kayden's been doing great lately, he's up running & playing. He's acting like a normal 3 year old, and it's hard for me to believe sometimes that he is sick & in just a few short months he'll be back in the hospital. So my birthday is in just 2 more days, I told my mom that I want to make a Twilight themed cake HAHA...so we are probably going to attempt that, whether it comes out right or not who knows! But hey we'll have fun trying!! I went to the school last week to do my financial aid for next term, it's going to be a tough one but I think I can get through it or at least I hope so. All that's left is my schedule & getting my classes!

Next week is also Alexis' birthday, I can't believe my baby girl will be 5 already. It's such a milestone in my eyes. I mean she is no longer a toddler or a baby she's a little girl. A little girl who will be in Kindergarten in the Fall..I just never imagined how this would make me feel. And I'm happy & excited but at the same time it's sad and depresses me because I know she's getting older and one day won't need me as much as she has. Well, she wants a Hannah Montana cake which I found one online that is awesome & today we went to Wal-Mart and she saw the cakes they have & she picked out the cupcake cake shaped like a guitar (it is Hannah Montana), so that will probably be what she gets & I think she wants to go to Chuck E Cheese for her party. Funny how that place never gets old (not even to me) lol! Next Tuesday I plan on taking her to Applebee's for her birthday dinner & Wednesday is her actual birthday lol.

And finally, today is officially the start of Heart month and Congenital Heart Defect Month..So please whatever it is you can do this month to raise awareness do it!!! February 4 is red day for Heart disease! So WEAR RED!!! Tell all your friends & family!!!! Also don't forget CHD week is February 7-14 I don't care if it's telling someone about Kayden's story, just spread awareness tell people what to look for!! This is just as important as Cancers or even supporting our military & families!! SUPPORT OUR CHILDREN WHO ARE FIGHTING FOR THEIR LIVES, AND SUPPORT ALL OF THE CHD ANGELS AND THEIR FAMILIES!!! Just because they may look & act normal doesn't mean nothing is wrong!!!
This is 1 face of a CHD..Yes, one minute he's fine acting silly (left), the next picture he's not..To the right he's in the hospital due to an ear infection, his heart cath got put off that day, he ended up in the hospital for a week because of an ear infection & temp..how many kids do you know that actually happens to? See how swollen his belly is from his liver being swollen, the NG tube was in from him not eating much and the IV in his arms..and this isn't even the worse that he's had, I try not to take pictures of those too much because the images are so vivid in my memory that it makes me sad to think about. I love my heart baby & I'll fight for him until MY heart stops beating!

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