I have handed my son over to surgeons knowing they would stop his heart, and prayed that it would beat again. I have learned more than I ever thought I could. I have cried more than I ever thought possible. I have celebrated victories and milestones that others never have to. I have walked a road I never knew existed. I will walk this road forever. I am a mommy to a CHD Angel ♥ iLy Kayden James

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy Mother's Day!!

Happy Mother's Day to all the mommies who follow my blog!! I hope you enjoyed your day because we all deserve it! Today was my 6th Mothers day. Can you believe that? Wow. Alexis made me a mom when she was born on February 9, 2006. Although before that I was an Angel mom. So technically this would be my seventh Mothers Day if that little one would have been born =[. Being a mom is the hardest thing I've done in my life, but it's the most rewarding. I love seeing the smiles on my kids faces, I love when they hug me & say 'I love you', or even when they come to me when they get a boo boo. I know at the end of the day that if my kids go to bed with a smile on their face then my day is complete & I've done everything I needed to do. I've seen the easy side of being a mom & I've also seen the hard parts of seeing a mom. Thanks to Alexis, Tavion & Isaiah for showing me the easy sides of it. And Kayden for showing me both. Kayden has really shown me the inner strength I truly have. I couldn't have done a lot without him. I've faced doctors telling me my child may not live. I've cried fearing for my child  & I've cried because I'm so lucky to have my children. I don't want anything but the best for ALL of my kids. I always kiss them goodnight & tell them I love them. And for Kayden I ALWAYS tell him to hang in there & stay strong. My nightly routine with him is out of love, I give him his meds because I WANT him to be okay. I don't like fearing for my childs life, but God chose me for him, he chose me to care for one of his most precious Angels. I will take care of that baby until my heart stops beating. My son is strong & he has made me that way as well. I know that this Mother's Day had a different meaning for me. After everything I have been through in the past year it has opened my eyes to see what the important things are in life. I've let go of people & things in the past year that have probably surprised a lot of people. I guess that is because I've realized love is all that matters, the love I have for my children is ALL that matters. THEY are my life & no one else. If there was no them then there would not be me. I don't remember much of my life before I had kids anymore, it feels like they have just always been there. Again Happy Mother's Day mommies <3 take time for yourself tonight before bed because you deserve it especially those mommies in a hospital tonight who are praying to God for your child to be okay, and especially those Angel mommies who are wondering if you're still a mommy since your baby is in heaven. I have an answer, yes you are a mommy, you have a baby...an Angel baby when he/she was conceived and that little one had a heart beat you became a mommy <3

And just a little update on Kayden, he hasn't felt good the past couple of days. I had to call his cardiologist last night around midnight because he was breathing hard & oxygen was low even on oxygen. And he has a terrible cough. He said since he was sleeping to wait and see how he was this morning. So this morning he seemed fine & his cardiologist called to check on him & Kayden was fine..Throughout the day though he started not feeling well again and has been on some oxygen on and off today. Tonight he is on 1.5 liters & his oxygen is in the low 90s. Please keep him in your prayers, he sees his cardiologist on Tuesday or sooner if needed!

A Mother's Prayer

May God grant you peace 
in the midst of a storm. 
May God give you strength even 
when you’re forlorn. 
May you answer the door when 
Jesus comes knocking. 
May wisdom guide when 
your mouth is talking. 
May discretion protect you 
and keep you pure. 
May you never stumble 
or fall for a lure. 
May your heart remain humble 
to the very end. 
May uprightness and truth 
be what you defend. 
May the world not ensnare 
or change who you are. 
May the light that's within you 
shine like the stars. 
May angels surround you 
body, spirit, mind. 
May favor and peace be yours to find. 
May rejection and pain 
never reach you. 
May your spirit grow bold 
for what you’re called to. 

If you haven't heard this before please listen to the song, it is the most amazing ever & I absolutely love it <3

1 comment:

  1. Awwww Happy Mothers Day..You Have Amazing Children & I'm So Glad That Kayden Is Doing A Little Bit Better..I PRay For You All ALways & I Always Will..<3 You 5 :)