This is so not good for me..I hate waiting. I always have and always will. It's the worst part of it right now..the waiting..the not knowing..I get told so often that they don't know how I do what I do with 3 other kids at home..I honestly don't have a choice. I mean I guess I do but I won't have it as a choice. My kids are my life now & if one is sick or hurting I will do what I can to make it better but also be sure the others are okay as well. I don't know how I do it. I kind of have that 'it comes natural' to me feeling. I guess because I've been doing it for 3 1/2 years now. Because when he was a baby I had to balance my time between seeing him in the nicu & Alexis at home. Then it was doctors or hospitals when he wasn't home. So I know Kayden needs me most right now but I also know my other kids need me as well.
I'm praying day and night that his special angel heart comes soon <3 I hope a family can find it in their hearts to give other children a second chance at life <3 This is so sad all of it is. I love kids and I would NEVER want anything to happen to anyone's child. And now here I am praying my little boy gets a heart and in order for that I know what has to happen...Does this make me horrible person? Or does is just make me a mom wanting their child to be okay? I keep going over that in my mind.