I have handed my son over to surgeons knowing they would stop his heart, and prayed that it would beat again. I have learned more than I ever thought I could. I have cried more than I ever thought possible. I have celebrated victories and milestones that others never have to. I have walked a road I never knew existed. I will walk this road forever. I am a mommy to a CHD Angel ♥ iLy Kayden James

Sunday, July 3, 2011

I've always been an impatient person...

This is so not good for me..I hate waiting. I always have and always will. It's the worst part of it right now..the waiting..the not knowing..I get told so often that they don't know how I do what I do with 3 other kids at home..I honestly don't have a choice. I mean I guess I do but I won't have it as a choice. My kids are my life now & if one is sick or hurting I will do what I can to make it better but also be sure the others are okay as well. I don't know how I do it. I kind of have that 'it comes natural' to me feeling. I guess because I've been doing it for 3 1/2 years now. Because when he was a baby I had to balance my time between seeing him in the nicu & Alexis at home. Then it was doctors or hospitals when he wasn't home. So I know Kayden needs me most right now but I also know my other kids need me as well.

I'm praying day and night that his special angel heart comes soon <3 I hope a family can find it in their hearts to give other children a second chance at life <3 This is so sad all of it is. I love kids and I would NEVER want anything to happen to anyone's child. And now here I am praying my little boy gets a heart and in order for that I know what has to happen...Does this make me horrible person? Or does is just make me a mom wanting their child to be okay? I keep going over that in my mind.

1 comment:

  1. Your praying for your son's life-there is nothing wrong with that. God's timing is perfect and He knows what each of us are destined for, He knows who is destined to save your son's life. It's miraculous what you are doing, just keep envisioning the moment when you are all home together-that will help get you through all this.