I have handed my son over to surgeons knowing they would stop his heart, and prayed that it would beat again. I have learned more than I ever thought I could. I have cried more than I ever thought possible. I have celebrated victories and milestones that others never have to. I have walked a road I never knew existed. I will walk this road forever. I am a mommy to a CHD Angel ♥ iLy Kayden James

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Nightmares & Fairytales

Nightmares come true so why can't fairytales? I mean really, we have serial killers walking our streets, child molesters and rapists. We have cancers and heart problems, kids dying, parents dying. ETC ETC ETC....But where is prince charming and where are the princess' and the castles with the white horses and where the hell is the HAPPY ENDING? I was thinking about this today because I've had another bad day. Not just missing Kayden but everything. I mean how freaking sad. My credit card is a payment of $15 and I didn't even have it in my bank account to pay it today because transfers haven't went through..That is ridiculous first time in 6 months it'll be late. I hope once I explain to them why I don't have it until tomorrow they will understand. Most places have worked with me. Cox our cable company..well they've pissed me off a few times not working with me as soon as we get caught up we are switching...I don't want to give ass holes my money when they can't work with us in hard times. I've got a few extra expenses right not that normal families do not have.

I feel like I'm walking through a tunnel that just never ends and it's dark and I can't find the freaking light. This is just a nightmare. Probably worse. My baby isn't here and I miss him so much it literally hurts and aches. I am so thankful for the friends and family I have that have been there to support me. A few have been there for me through my darkest hours and will continue to be there...Maybe one day fairytales will come true...but for now I've got to find a way out of this freaking nightmare that's sucking me in further ♥

1 comment:

  1. Love You & Those Babies..I'm Always A Text,Phone Call Or EMail Away..Remember That...Always....