I have handed my son over to surgeons knowing they would stop his heart, and prayed that it would beat again. I have learned more than I ever thought I could. I have cried more than I ever thought possible. I have celebrated victories and milestones that others never have to. I have walked a road I never knew existed. I will walk this road forever. I am a mommy to a CHD Angel ♥ iLy Kayden James

Monday, December 12, 2011

Christmas Parade, Ballerines, Birthday Parties & so on...

It's been a little over a week since I've said anything so let me catch you all up. So we went to the Christmas Parade Dec 2. It was okay, I've seen better ones here in Salem. I was glad that Kayden got to see a great one last year, they had so many pretty floats last year..This year it seemed like more people were walking and not many decorations...Tavion of course wanted to run around like he was crazy and got aggravated sitting there. So my mom took him behind us in the grass so he could run around..Then Isaiah got fussy towards the end so I chilled behind everyone with my mom and Tavion lol.
This is Kayden last year at the parade ♥

Alexis had her ballet Christmas show, they did so good! She loves dancing. Again I think last years was better but it was still cute!! She got to be an elf in it & did so good! I'm so proud of how well she's done and this is her second year!! We are thinking about putting her in voice, she LOVES to sing and gets mad at me for not recording her lol. I'm not sure if I want to wait another year or go ahead and do it...I guess we'll see. I'm super excited for their recital in May she'll get to do tap & ballet!!
Lexi after the recital ♥

ISAIAH IS ONE!!!! Okay so technically not yet, BUT we had his first birthday party and had a lot of fun!! Sad Kayden wasn't physically here to help blow out the candle or help Isaiah open his presents! But we know his spirit was here!!! He loved his baby Saiah!! We all got cake in the face except my mom and sister..Go figure lol!! I got it up my nose and I think it's still screwed up because of it...Alexis had it in her ear, Tavion has blue hair & Isaiah got it shoved in his face along with Lyndsee lol!! My sister has all the real good pictures of it because my camera died...go figure I've got the worse luck in the world..

Anyways, Kayden's birthday party was going to be this weekend on the 17th....My heart is aching this week and next and probably the rest of  2011...Let's just say this year has officially been named THE WORST YEAR OF MY LIFE. Instead of lighting 4 candles on a cake, or opening birthday presents & eating cake and ice cream this weekend...I'll be going through toys organizing them to take to the hospital the day before his birthday in his memory!!! So far we've got a good amount I'm so happy, I was worried about how many we would have but we're doing good and still have some to get thanks to those who've sent money through PayPal!! Everyone who donated is an Angel on Earth, they are amazing people for helping remember my son!! On Kayden's birthday we'll be doing a balloon release blue & yellow, Spongebob theme like his party was going to be ♥ I miss that youngin and I will never stop!! I go through the stores and say OMG I bet Kayden would have loved that...I'll probably be doing it 20 years from now...like the moon on the wall I seen at Wal-Mart last night..Kayden would have LOVED it!! He loved the moon I can still here him saying. Night night moon ♥
I'll end this blog with Kayman's moon song so whenever you read this today or tonight, when you see the moon next you will remember Kayden even if it's only for a moment ♥
I see the moon and the moon sees me
The moon sees somebody I want to see
So God bless the moon and God bless me
And God bless the somebody I want to see.

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