I have handed my son over to surgeons knowing they would stop his heart, and prayed that it would beat again. I have learned more than I ever thought I could. I have cried more than I ever thought possible. I have celebrated victories and milestones that others never have to. I have walked a road I never knew existed. I will walk this road forever. I am a mommy to a CHD Angel ♥ iLy Kayden James

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

17s are BAD, hopefully my luck will change soon!!

FINALLY, we have the new date for Kaydens surgery! MARCH 17, St. Patricks Day! Nice right? Well maybe not so nice really..You see I have BAD luck when it comes to the number 17. So this kind of stinks and it scares the crap out of me. I'll start with back in Decemer 1998. I had surgery that December, from where I had a hernia when I was born & had surgery at birth, well scar tissue had grew on my intestines & they had shifted so I was in the hospital that year from December 12-December 17. So that all started my 17 curse lol although some are good like my getting out of the hospital was a great thing! But then 1 month later on January 17, 1999, I lost my grandpa. He was such an amazing man & I loved him more than anything. May he rest in peace <3. February 17 I was due with Alexis & also it's my aunt's birthday. March I will say this one last. April 17 nothing so far has happened (fingers crossed) & on May 17 was my sisters ex's funeral. NOW with March 17..This year March 17, 2011 will be 10 years to the date since I got hit by a pick up truck. Niiice right? And my little boys surgery is on that date. So needless to say I'm scared shitless because out of all the days in March it's on that day 10 years later...Although I was fine so I pray my little man will be fine! I had a bunch of scratches & bruises oh yea and a fractured back. So yea thats the worst that happened & the doctors told me my back would never be the same, but hey at least I'm walking here today. So I pray Kayden gets through his heart surgery with no problem! But one thing that really gives me hope other than the other CHD babies who've made it through their surgeries, is this; my mom has a Christmas cactus that was my grandpa's, well she had it 10 years ago. Well it's only suppose to bloom at Christmas time & it never bloomed from the time she had it & on March 18, 2001 the day I got home there were blooms on that cactus. So I know my grandpa was there with me on March 17, 2001. He was there with his hand on me so I didn't get hurt badly. I've always said since then that my grandpa is my guardian angel! I've also said he watches over Kayden & is Kayden's guardian angel. I say that because my little man has made it through 5 different surgeries in his life, his heart surgery will be his 6th surgery. Also, I made a CD about a month ago with 18 songs that in some way remind me of Kayden. Well I couldn't find it after having it for about a week. I mean seriously I went through EVERY CD I have in my car & I still couldn't find it! I was so upset & mad!! Well anyways last night on my way to Wal-Mart I changed my CD because I was tired of Taylor Swift haha Alexis LOVES her. The very first CD I pulled out of the compartment that I was a stack of CD's in was the CD I had made with those songs!! And YES, I went through every one of those!! So you tell me that my grandpa isn't watching over us!! That is a sign to me of him telling me, 'you can get through this & he will be okay'. I can't help but think my grandpa will be in the OR with his hand on Kaydens little heart just like I know God is watching over him & will be guiding those doctors hands and he will help my son make it through this surgery!! My son will be a CHD Survivor not only does he deserve it after the fight he has been fighting. But because he IS a survivor just like me!! When I was born the doctors told my mom I probably wouldn't live. But since I was stubborn & had the determination I lived. Yea that may sound stupid but it's true, babies fight, toddlers fight, kids FIGHT!! Sometimes they are stronger than adults, because I know Kayden is stronger than me. I can't do this without him <3 So I hope that this year will break my bad luck with the number 17 & make March 17 a HAPPY day for me instead of a day that I hate looking back on! Also I'll soon be posting pictures of Kayden because I plan on taking pics every single day leading up to his surgery & I will take tons of pics after too!! PLEASE keep my son in your prayers, tell your family & friends & please if you go to church put him on the prayer list!! He needs all he can get! PLEASE let God hear his name ALL day on March 17, 2011!!

1 comment:

  1. Hi,

    I have a question about your site, would you mind emailing me back @ kthomas@primroseschools.com?