I have handed my son over to surgeons knowing they would stop his heart, and prayed that it would beat again. I have learned more than I ever thought I could. I have cried more than I ever thought possible. I have celebrated victories and milestones that others never have to. I have walked a road I never knew existed. I will walk this road forever. I am a mommy to a CHD Angel ♥ iLy Kayden James

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

It's that time again...

It's time for Kayden to go back to the cardiologist tomorrow. He has been since before Christmas since his cardiologist didn't want to have us running back and fourth between cardiology appointments with me about to have Isaiah at the time lol!! I'm pretty anxious to see how it goes tomorrow. He's been doing good with his eating. He has his days of course as any toddler does lol. He's been up playing for the most part, he still has days of laying around although he does still sleep more than the other kids, which I expect because his body still needs the rest because his heart has to work harder! Also, I had a phone call this evening at 6:17 p.m. from Dr. Marx at Boston's Children's Hospital. I missed the call because it was charging & we were eating dinner! Well he got Kayden's echo that UVA sent them, I'm very anxious to speak with him & see what he has to say. I'm very curious since UVA has already gave me all the blows at once like his hearts barely pumping enough blood to his body & he's too high risk for valve repair & probably wouldn't make it, oh and don't forget the transplant evaluation, which he will probably end up on the list since the other options seem like a big NEGATIVE now. But after doing some researching BCH seems to be the #1 in the country in pediatric heart & heart surgery!!

Well anyways, I'm on a few different forums & blogs as well as a lot of other heart moms. As I was looking at one of them tonight, I was reading some posts & stories of kids who are now older, well like 6 or 7. And it makes me happy & sad all at once. It makes me happy to see that they've done so well & it gives me and other moms hope as well. Hope for our little ones, that one day they will see that age. It makes me sad though, that moms such as myself, with younger kids & facing surgeries because I don't know what's going to happen with my little one. And it's sad we all have to live through everyday wondering whats going to happen. That's one thing about all this that I hate, I hate that I have to live everyday wondering what's going to happen with Kayden. I worry soo much about him, I look at him everyday and I smile because he's here and God's blessed me with another wonderful day with this Angel. I pray that he lets Kayden live to be an old man & have his own family, & I pray that he lets all the other CHD babies live a very long life & have families of their own. They deserve it, they all fight such a hard battle & I know some won't survive which is the worst part of it all.

Anyways expect an update tomorrow from the cardiologist appointment as well as an update about what the doctor from BCH says!

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