I have handed my son over to surgeons knowing they would stop his heart, and prayed that it would beat again. I have learned more than I ever thought I could. I have cried more than I ever thought possible. I have celebrated victories and milestones that others never have to. I have walked a road I never knew existed. I will walk this road forever. I am a mommy to a CHD Angel ♥ iLy Kayden James

Tuesday, August 9, 2011


My mom went back to work today, it's the first time since Kayden left us to go to Heaven. So waking up in this stupid quiet house was another day in hell!! I've been looking for a job so I can go back to work and move forward with my life with the kids & Kayden (minus the doctors). But I'm having NO LUCK!! Who is gunna hire someone with hardly any experience other than fast food plus I've been out of work for 4 yrs. I refuse to work in fast food. I hated it then and I hate it now. Nothing will change that. And a lot of places once they find out I have kids they won't like that & some places don't want me because I have tattoos on my arm..WOW my kids' names & bdays and My name on  the other. Woo hoo big deal..It ain't like I got a picture of the devil holding a gun to someone's head !! Today is just boring, and I'm missin Kayden so much. I would much rather be caring for him than looking for a job.

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